Thursday, October 7, 2010

MY DARK PAST

It was somewhat dim and absolutely cold. Only those two yellow-lighted lamps lit the whole room. The room was big and so was the bed. I excused myself and went to the comfort room which by the way was almost ¼ as big as the room. It was my first time then to see a glass covered cr. It was elegant. It was daring. Anybody inside it couldn’t hide anything for it was transparent from the outside.  It also had a mirror covered wall.

I took my time. I took my contact lenses out of my eyes and started cleaning it with my lens solution. I, then washed my hair and soaped my body while the water for the shower kept pouring. My mind snapped and had started thinking about what to do with the situation. It was the first moment that i thought of things clearly despite the influence of alcohol.

I knew the moment i stepped out of the cr that i was up to something not right.

*****

I did not like him the first time i saw him. He was arrogant. He ignores me as if i wasn’t with him. He’s full of himself. However, i still made myself civil by smiling. We were with my boyfriend (my ex), and another friend of theirs. We had a few drinks over. Their other friend went home early leaving the three of us hailing a taxi. We went to the bar and started dancing for it was a Saturday night.

We drank a lot of beer-shits and being a person with less-tolerance with alcohol, i got very drunk. I looked at the ledge and i saw my lover dancing like hell. I was so drunk that i felt my face was very numb and very thick. Somebody from my back suddenly hugged me and as i opened my falling eyes, i saw him. i laid my head on his shoulder. I smelled his perfume which made me hug him back. He smelled nice. I stood up and found ourselves hugging each other. I smelled him over and over while we danced.  He was asking me if i was okay, if i was that drunk, if i wanted to drink more. i asked him to get me a bottle of vodka which he did.  While i was alone dancing somebody grabbed my arms and whispered ‘’ tope, you’re drunk already, he’s taking advantage of you’’, i realized, it was my lover.

Too drunk i just answered him back with a ‘’huh?’’. He got mad and headed to the dance floor again while his friend came back. He was back with my vodka and we kissed. It was strange. It was wrong but it felt so right. I didn’t like him a while ago, but that moment i guess i was starting to like what he was doing.



4am, and my lover approached me. He wants us to rest. He told me to ask DOT if he wants to come with us. We hailed a cab and went to a nearby INN.

*****

As i lay my body on the bed, i just couldn’t stop looking at his face. His eyes were closed but i knew he was awake. I kissed him and he kissed me back. I took a look at my boyfriend at the edge of the bed and found him sleeping. We went back with what we’re doing and after a few minutes, my boyfriend got up and joined us. THE THREE OF US DID IT.

*****

My boyfriend and i broke up a month after.
his friend and i got closer and we went out several times.
but he was still in love with his ex leaving what we have,hanging.
i then found out that my boyfriend likes him very much.

my boyfriend and i eneded up fighting and up to this moment he is still bitter with me.

the three of us ended apart. nobody got to have a relationship with anybody.

*****


i used to be very bad. i used to. good thing after everything, i learned.
good thing, i now have my von.

7 comments:

  1. akala ko, makulay na ang mga kuwento ko pero mas makulay pala ang mga totoong kuwento ng buhay mo. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. @aris: naks.. salamat idol..:) kung alam mo lang, pwede nang maging maala-ala mo kaya ang buhay ko. hehe

    ReplyDelete
  3. di talaga ako pabor sa open relationship. i know it sounds weird coming from me, being that i was a cheat and all. i dunno, i just don't like consciously sharing my guy. or, conversely, being consciously shared.

    ReplyDelete
  4. and at the end of the day,
    u've learned your lesson..

    un ang importante..

    ReplyDelete
  5. Thanks for sharing your story, Toffer! nice one! Yep, open relationships are as fucked-up as any setups that involves third, fourth, etc parties!

    ReplyDelete
  6. @ex: the problem is, i guess i just thought that i loved him but i realized i didn't at all. i was pretty young then and have had problems experimenting..:(

    @ceiboh: yup, i dont actually regret of doing wrong things coz it teaches me. thanks for droppin by...


    @lasher: i know right. i just dont think i'm ever gonna let things happen this way if i really love my partner. kaya ngayon, with my present relationship, super exclusive kame for each other..:))

    ReplyDelete
  7. I like your story (this story). Past is past. But I am pretty sure you smile every time you remember that moment. Goodluck sa present relationship.

    ReplyDelete