DIARY

PUMAYAT AKO SA KAKAIWAS KUMAIN WITH THEM :))

dear diary,


a couple of nights ago, nag-away kami ni mama, nagkatampuhan.
meron shang pinapagawa saken when i suddenly yelled at her. ganun kase ako minsan, pagtinotopak, sobrang suplado na, naninigaw pa.

she asked me if pde akong magfried rice kasi masarap daw kainin yung fried chicken and fried rice pag malamig.

sa dalawang plato mo ilagay, di kakasya pag isa lang.

ilang plato ba to sa tingin mo? pasigaw kong sagot.

ayun,na high blood xa, napasigaw din.

eh di wag mo nang i-fried rice yan. wag na!!!

malas pa, nandun mismo si erpats. nagalit. nagsermon at puro sigaw.

aktong linalagay ko na yung rice sa frying pan, kinuha bigla ni erpats yung ginagamit na panlugay ng rice, i dont know what it's called..hehe..

super sermon to the point na umiyak ako. sobrang iyak na ako then pumasok sa room. di ako kumain.

pag gising ko, di ako kumain. di rin ako lumabas ng room.
pag-uwi ko, nakasalubong ko yung mama ko papalabas ng bahay, di ko sya pinansin, sya yung nag-initiate ng conversation...mejo nagmelt din yung heart ko. alam ko naman kasing kasalanan ko rin.

di rin ako kumain ng dinner nung gabing yun, bumili lang ako ng cheesecake para me laman yung chanie ko.haha

***

paggising ko kanina, naligo ako, di na rin nagbreakfast, di rin naglunch kasi dumirestso na ako sa coffee shop para makapag-wifi..

pag-uwi ko kanina mga bandang 4pm, natulog ako then mga 7pm na ako nagising... ayun concerned sila sa ubo't sipon ko...kaya ayun nangayayat talaga ako in 3days, i lovet... me maidudulot din palang siomething good yung tampo tampo ko...hahahha

kaya i started talking to them na kanina. parang friends na ulet kami...haha..


                                                                                                                                        love love love,
                                                                                                                                        toffer

ps: salamat kasi kahit ganto ako, bakla na, suplado pa eh they always try to understand me. ewan, nasanay lang talaga akong ganto... kakaiyak lang, i always dreamt of a family like this pero ngayon ko lang nakuha... sana di nalang ako pinaubaya noong bata ako...sana....

FUCK YOU part 2

i was driving my car when the thought of him entered my mind.

****

i was outside the bar smoking when i saw him. he just got out. he was simple yet stylish. he had eyes that were expressive enough to tell you that he's lonely. he had kissable lips. his chinky eyes had started to drop with his body when i caught him on his shoulders. he was drunk. he was intoxicated. i carried him all the way to my car which i parked several steps outside the bar last night.

i laid him just beside the drivers seat. he smelled like beer mixed with his vanilla scented perfume.

i was driving my way to my apartment yet i cant stop looking at his gorgeous face.

as i lay him to bed, he grabbed my neck and started kissing me. i couldn't contain more of my hard-on. we kissed. we necked. we licked each others nips. we sucked off each others cocks. we fucked. we came. we slept.

as i thought of what had happened last night and earlier today, i couldn't stop myself from smiling.

i was smiling again. the very first time i smiled after the break-up and tears i got from jaime 5 months ago. he was the reason. i just dont know his name,see, he was pretty stubborn for him to introduce himself properly. but i truly know that he was the reason.

his cute face.

his body.

his fuckin stubborn attitude.

they were all the reason.

to be continued...

FUCK YOU part 1

he was awakened by the crackly, squeaky sound my door made just after i went inside the room after showering.

''hey!'' i greeted him while i began to wear my duty uniform that morning.

there was no response.

i looked at him and i wasnt wrong last night. he's cute. he's tall, fair skinned, chinky eyed, baby face. his face showed much of cunfusion as he got up and took a glance of my pad, then he started staring at me while i zip my fly.

''where am i?''he asked.

''seriously?'' i responded with a giggle.

''oh shit..'' he murmured covering his face with a pillow.

''so you get amnesia after waking up with a hang-over huh?''

''what time is it?''

''it's a quarter past 8 and i have to get going, just lock the door after you leave, i dont wanna be late''

''what the fuck!'' he said aloud while he hurriedly grabbed his clothes and started to dress up.

i was about to spray my perfume when he grabbed it from my hand and took a spray from it.

''hmmm, ang bango ah'' he mustered while he smelled my neck and ran out of my room.

i chased him and yelled at him.

''TOPE!''

''what?''

''I'm tope. and. you. are?'' still yelling because he was already downstairs.

''FUCK YOU!!!''he shouted back before he slammed the poor door of my apartment.

''we already did'', said my mind.

i couldnt stop my self smiling after he left. i dont know him but his personality makes me want to. i know, i'll find ways to meet him. someday.

to be continued...

*********************************************************************

this is a story i made last night, hope you like it. it's fiction

tahanan

lakad ako ng lakad.

di ko alam kung san ako dadalhin ng mga paa ko.

bakit ba ako lakad ng lakad? san ba ako papunta? di ba ako uuwi? di ko alam.

sa aking dinaanan, may maliwanag na sulok-sulok, luntian ang paligid, maraming mga bulaklak, masaya ang tanawin. maganda.

* mga birthdays ko, mga christmas, mga newyear, ang pamilya ko, mga minahal ko* ito ang mga naalala ko. nagbigay ito ng ngiti sa aking mga labi.

meron din naman akong nadaanang makitid. madilim. walang kulay. blanko.

naalala ko tuloy ang mga panahong lugmok ako sa problema. yung tipong ayoko nang bumangon pa. yung tipong mas gugustuhin ko pang umalis at di na lumingon.

***naranasan ko na lahat. magyosi, uminom ng sobra sobra, malasing, mag pot, umuwi ng 4am monday-sunday, sumama kahit kanino basta cute,haha, maubusan ng pera, maglayas, ubusin ang alahas ko, lahat lahat ng kabulastugan nagawa ko na***


****

ganun siguro talaga ang buhay, maglakad ka lang ng maglakad,
oo nakakapagod, masakit sa paa, nakakawala ng pag-asa at some point

pero go lang ng go.

lakad ka pa ng konti, konting hakbang pa at makikita mo na ang hinahanap mo.

 

yung magbibigay ng direksyon kung san ka patungo, yung magsasabing isang hakbang na lang

malay mo, baka tulad ko, makita mo na rin ang tahanan mo.

yung tipong ayaw mo na umalis, ayaw mo nang maglakwatsa, dahil higit pa dun ang kasiyahan at pagmamahal na maibibigay niya.

at siya ang magiging dahilan kung bakit gugustuhin mong maging mas mabuting tao

we find better people from better homes

****

belated happy 18th month baby. i want you to know that i'm happy knowing that in every journey of my life, i have you as my home. somebody i could run to everytime i have bad days and somebody i could be with in every championship i've won. i love you.

MY DARK PAST

It was somewhat dim and absolutely cold. Only those two yellow-lighted lamps lit the whole room. The room was big and so was the bed. I excused myself and went to the comfort room which by the way was almost ¼ as big as the room. It was my first time then to see a glass covered cr. It was elegant. It was daring. Anybody inside it couldn’t hide anything for it was transparent from the outside.  It also had a mirror covered wall.

I took my time. I took my contact lenses out of my eyes and started cleaning it with my lens solution. I, then washed my hair and soaped my body while the water for the shower kept pouring. My mind snapped and had started thinking about what to do with the situation. It was the first moment that i thought of things clearly despite the influence of alcohol.

I knew the moment i stepped out of the cr that i was up to something not right.

*****

I did not like him the first time i saw him. He was arrogant. He ignores me as if i wasn’t with him. He’s full of himself. However, i still made myself civil by smiling. We were with my boyfriend (my ex), and another friend of theirs. We had a few drinks over. Their other friend went home early leaving the three of us hailing a taxi. We went to the bar and started dancing for it was a Saturday night.

We drank a lot of beer-shits and being a person with less-tolerance with alcohol, i got very drunk. I looked at the ledge and i saw my lover dancing like hell. I was so drunk that i felt my face was very numb and very thick. Somebody from my back suddenly hugged me and as i opened my falling eyes, i saw him. i laid my head on his shoulder. I smelled his perfume which made me hug him back. He smelled nice. I stood up and found ourselves hugging each other. I smelled him over and over while we danced.  He was asking me if i was okay, if i was that drunk, if i wanted to drink more. i asked him to get me a bottle of vodka which he did.  While i was alone dancing somebody grabbed my arms and whispered ‘’ tope, you’re drunk already, he’s taking advantage of you’’, i realized, it was my lover.

Too drunk i just answered him back with a ‘’huh?’’. He got mad and headed to the dance floor again while his friend came back. He was back with my vodka and we kissed. It was strange. It was wrong but it felt so right. I didn’t like him a while ago, but that moment i guess i was starting to like what he was doing.



4am, and my lover approached me. He wants us to rest. He told me to ask DOT if he wants to come with us. We hailed a cab and went to a nearby INN.

*****

As i lay my body on the bed, i just couldn’t stop looking at his face. His eyes were closed but i knew he was awake. I kissed him and he kissed me back. I took a look at my boyfriend at the edge of the bed and found him sleeping. We went back with what we’re doing and after a few minutes, my boyfriend got up and joined us. THE THREE OF US DID IT.

*****

My boyfriend and i broke up a month after.
his friend and i got closer and we went out several times.
but he was still in love with his ex leaving what we have,hanging.
i then found out that my boyfriend likes him very much.

my boyfriend and i eneded up fighting and up to this moment he is still bitter with me.

the three of us ended apart. nobody got to have a relationship with anybody.

*****


i used to be very bad. i used to. good thing after everything, i learned.

good thing, i now have my von.

yung totoo...

nagkakilala kayo.

****

hiningi niya number mo at minsan naman ay ikaw ang humingi ng number niya. kadalasan, sa bar (pagkatapos niyong isayaw ang isa't-isa,yung tipong paalis ka na o paalis na sya), minsan sa cofee shop, (isusulat ng isa sa inyo yung number sa tissue), minsan naman, sa bathhouse, minsan din, sa internet magsasabihan kayo ng, ''ang cute mo, pahingi ng number?''.

****

pagnakuha na yung number ng isa't-isa, magtitext, puro pa smileys, puro hehehe, puro mwah o di kaya'y hugzz, kayo naman, sobrang kilig, super smile, super tingin sa cellphone baka nagreply na.

****

mag-yayaya ang isa sa inyo, magde-date kayo.

****

sa coffeeshop, sa bar, sa sinehan,

minsan kuntodo outfit ka, yun pala sa motel ka lang niya dadalhin.

****

magiging kayo after ng first date, minsan second date na, paminsan-minsan sa panahong ito, may third date pang palugit yung mga pa demure. pero kadalasan, first date talaga.

****

pagkayo na, ''mahal'', ''baby'', minsan ''babe'' sa mga sosyal.haha. yun yung kadalasang tawagan niyo.

****

magiging over protective, magiging seloso, mag-aaway, at ma-uuwi lahat sa sex. finally, magkakapatawaran na.

****

meron ding stage na nagkasawaan, mag-oopen relationship, minsan rason nalang yun. dahil pagsinabi niyang he wants an open relationship para di magkasawaan, to save the relationship etc etc, ang sinisigaw lang naman ng puso niya eh yung katotohanang, ''GUSTO NIYANG MAKIPAGSEX SA IBA''.

****

pag hindi nag work out, bye bye ang drama. yung lugi sa relationship, yun yung puro bitterness. yun yung super sabi na ''i wanna move-on'' pero yung totoo, iyak siya ng iyak sa kwarto niya bago matulog, minsan, inom ng inom, minsan sobrang lasing. at minsan suicidal siya.

****

meron din nagbe-break dahil may iba yung lover nila. kabit-kabitan yung drama nito.

susugurin yung kabit, mag-aaway sila, magtatalbugan, magsasapawan, MAGKARIBAL.
pero pipiliin ni lover yung kabit.
pagpinili niya naman yung una niyang lover, di din sila magtatagal dahil for sure, mauulit-ulit na naman yung scenario over and over again.

****

meron din namang magkakalayo sila kaya ayaw nang magcommit.

****

pag nag break na ang dalawang magsyota,

yung isa eh,

1. mag-iiyak, di matutulog kaka-isip, palaging absent sa school or work, gusto lang na nasa bahay siya, magkukulong sa kwarto, kakain ng sobrang dami- di kakain at all, tataba or mangangayayat, papangit, stressed, iritable.

2. ita-try makipagbalikan sa ex, gagawin lahat, tatawag or iti-txt ang ex kahit di sumasagot, in other word, ''martyr- martyran''

3. minsan masochista din ang drama, uupo sa kama, pwede ding hihiga, i-oon ang ipod, ipplay yung theme song nila nung ex niya, iiyak magdamag. yung tipong nasasaktan ka na nga, makikinig ka pa ng mga songs intended for the broken hearted people.

4. maghihiganti, pupunta sa mga occasion kung saan nandun ang ex, maghahanap ng panakip butas, ipapakita kay ex nanakapag move on na siya, pag-uwi sa bahay, ''iyak'' ang ending.

5. matatanggap na niya, makakakilala siya ng iba

6. magmamahal  na ng iba.
*******

pagnawala na naman yung lover mo sayo for the nth time, pag naulit na naman yung mga pangyayaring iniyakan mo,

wag ka nang magtaka, dahil walang duda, na sayo ang problema.


''siguraduhing mahal niyo ang isa't-isa, dahil kahit bagyo pa o tadhana ang hahadlang, pagmamahal niyo lamang ang tangi niyong magiging bala''

i should know, dahil itong lahat ay napagdaanan ko na.(nagmamarunong mode)

hindi madali, katunayan masakit, but i know better now. i'm wiser. i'm toffer tougher. and i'm in love with....

vonior

APOCALYPSE???

''a group of people living at san joaquin iloilo reported a sighting of demon looking creatures with big red eyes. together with them were what they reffered to as ''aswangs'', because they saw them change skin,peeling them off.''

this was the text msg. i got from vonior just last night.

he also added that when he told this to his dad, his dad confirmed that this may be true. his dad was a seaman and he too, saw the like when he was in brazil.

vonior on the other hand concluded that these things happen because autumn equinox is coming. he also added that these things mostly happen when the second coming of christ is near and the gates of hell are about to close. it all boils down to one thing, ''end of the world is going nowhere but near''.

******

i wasnt that skeptical of these thoughts when i heard them.

the mudslides, the storms, the flood, destruction in every form, they happen all around the world.

the rain that carried blocks of ice in manila.

man being abusive of technology should be blamed.

yup, technology does make our way of living faster and easier but it should not be abused to some extent because mother nature has it's ways to bounce it all back to us.

******

after watching ''LEGION'' and ''KNOWING'' , i can no longer do anything but pray.

i'm afraid of death, i'm young and still haven't achieved anything yet. and i really want to face god and be proud to tell him that he did not go wrong when he gave me life.

''end of the world?'' i hope it's not yet too late. i hope not. not yet.

how to answer pick-up lines

sa coffee shop, 9:00pm, with my aunt and her friend.

friend: palamig tayo. check in tayo.

tita: saan?

friend: sa hotel, dun sa may beach.

tita: may aircon ba?

friend: oo naman...

tita: walang lamok?

friend: wala shempre....

tita: may swimming pool?

friend: may time ka pang mag swimming? *sigh*

(gusto ko ng tumambling!!hahahaha)

******

 siya yung mom nung cousin kong hot. remember?

umuwi sila ng buong family niya dito from the states two months ago and stayed here for 2 weeks, then pumunta na nang boracay para makapag relax. after a night nila sa bora, nagpasya syang bumalik dito sa roxas kasi bitin daw. mag-isa lang siyang bumalik.

ayun pagbalik niya, walang gabing di sya lumalabas. haha.

siya yung pinaka-favorite kong tita. siya din yung nagturo sakin ng tamang pag sisigarilyo. yung pwesto sa kamay, at tamang paghit hanggang sa sosyal na pagbuga ng usok.

******

friend: ORDER NG ORDER LANG..INOM PA... ANO PA GUSTO MO?

pagkuha ng bill...(inabot niya kay tita ko)

tita: ako pala magbabayad...(sabay abot ng pera sa waiter)

friend: ang kapal naman ng wallet mo, yakang-yaka na yan...hahaha

tita: ANG KAPAL NGA...NG MUKHA MO...

******

ang ending?

di rin sya sumama sa friend niyang lalake.

our 17th birthday..

party party partying hard and kissing harder.haha

what do you do when you love somebody so much?
you do almost anything just for one touch,
try to make any excuse just to get away,
that's the way that i feel about you baby...

when i leave, do you know what i go through?

it makes me cry everytime coz i miss you,

and hope you feel thesame way too, coz all i do is think of you..


when i dream,
i think of you

when i breathe,
i think of you

all day i think of you,
give all my love to you

my baby boo
i swear it's true,
all i do is think of you

******
sa mga oras na nalulungkot ka,
sa mga oras na kelangan mo ng isang taong makikinig sayo,
sa mga panahon na ikaw ay nag-iisa,
sa mga panahon na kailangan mong tumawa,

wala ako...

sa birthdays mo,
sa ilang monthsaries natin,
noong anniversary natin,

wala din ako...

nung nag graduate ka,
nung nag top ka sa review,
sa mga mahahalagang araw mo,

wala din ako...

******
gusto kong malaman mong gustong-gusto kong magkasama na tayo,
gustong gusto kong pag gumising ako araw-araw ay kayakap kita,
hahalikan kita, yayakapin, aamuy-amoyin,,,

alam kong magkakasama din tayo, at alam ko ring malapit na yun...
ako na siguro yung pinakamasayang tao pagnangyari yun.


gusto ko ring malaman mo na sa mga oras, panahon, malulungkot man o masasayang pagkakataon sa iyong buhay...

at ngayong 17th monthsary natin,

WALA NA NAMAN AKO DYAN PARA SAYO,PERO ANDITO AKO SA BAHAY,
''JUST THINKING OF YOU''...

****

sarap pakinggan ng song na to....:))

para sa mga in love at hindi kasama ang lovers nila...

napaaga ang pag-amin

lumaki ako na wala ang nanay ko sa tabi ko, she worked as a nurse abroad. every year 1 month ko lang syang nakakasama for her vacation break. kadalasan din na wala si papa dahil busy sya sa pag-eenjoy with his barkada kaya yung yaya ko lang yung nakakasama ko.

lumaki akong sweet and thoughtful sa mga taong nasa paligid ko. malamya kumilos, vain at very talkative sa klase.

nung nasa 4th yr college na ako, nagretire na si mama.
since then, hindi kami laging magkasundo, lagi kaming nag-aaway. di ko sya masisisi, at di ko rin pwedeng sisihin ang sarili ko.
alam kong lumaki ako na wala sya dahil din sa amin. para di ako maghirap pag laki ko. para makapag-aral ako sa mga bonggang schools, magkaroon ako ng mga gadgets, at lahat din ng luho ko.

wala kami nung sinasabing strong foundation, nung bond.

masasabi kong hindi kaila sa kanila na hindi ako straight.

ngunit tulad ng iba, hindi din namin pinag-uusapan yun.

***

nalaman ko after graduation na hindi nila ako tunay na anak.
opo, adopted ako. at dun ko din nalaman na ang tunay kong papa eh yung kapatid nung papa ko na nagpalaki saken.

okay na sana yun kaso dala ng menopausal ni mama, araw araw na talaga kami kung mag bangayan.
***

1st yr college ako nung nagsimula akong magrebelde.

naadik ako sa sigarilyo, every after dismissal eh diretso ako sa tambayan at iinom. pag-uwi ko sa bahay, tulog agad. at totoo yung sinasabi sa kanta na ''pag gising sa umaga sermon ang almusal'', yun yung kadalasang mangyari saken.

dumating sa puntong hindi na ako pumapasok sa mga classes ko.

kaya super sumbong yung mga prof at mga c.i. ko ke mama. si mama kasi yung clinical coordinator sa pinapasukan kong college kaya hindi maiiwasang hindi niya malaman yung mga katarantaduhan ko.

pinatawag ako ni mama sa secretary niya.
***

pagpasok sa office,

mama: gago ka!!! bat hindi ka pumapasok sabi nung prof mo?!
     
ako: (silent mode) para na akong iiyak pero pinipigilan ko, galit ako kay mama nun. alam niya yun. wala akong rason kung bakit ako nagrerebelde at napapabarkada. wala talaga.

mama: oh? ba't hindi ka nagsasalita?

ako:  di mo maiintindihan! (kinabog ko mga telenovela nito) sabay tulo ng luha sa right eye.

mama: pano ko maiintindihan kung di ka magsasabi?

ako: BAKLA AKO!!!dun na ako humikbi ng husto..nakita ko kasi syang umiiyak. (wala na akong maisip na idahilan kaya sinabi ko nalang na problema ko yung pagiging bakla ko)

mama: MATAGAL KO NG ALAM, BATA KA PA LANG ALAM KO NA!

ako: super hikbi talaga ako at super iyak din si mama. dun ko narealize na mahal talaga ako ng nanay ko kahit di ko sya kadugo.

mama: OH ANO?AYAW MO NG MAG NURSE? ITATAYO NA LANG KITA NG PARLOR?

ako: iyak habang tumatawa...


***
NALAMAN KO NA NA OKAY NA NUNG..

sa sasakyan pauwi,

PAPA: oh?wala nang problema si biboy?

MAMA: wala na...

AKO: (NAKALUSOT NA AKO SA PAG AABSENT, NAKALUSOT PA AKO SA BAKLA ISSUE!!!) YES!!! SMILE AKO NG SMILE....

PAPA: good boy na sya?

MAMA: GOOD GIRL...:))


*****

ma, hindi man tayo ayos ngayon, nagpapasalamat pa rin ako sa mga pagkakataong pinakita mo sakin na hindi dugo ang batayan ng pagiging mag-ina...

''you may not be my mother by blood, but you used to be my mother by blood''....

i'm sorry and i love you, sana magkaayos na tayo....

*******

sa pag amin ko, naging mas malaya ako

hindi lang sa mga magulang ko, sa mga tao sa paligid ko

pati narin sa sarili ko

****

at dahil sa pag-amin ko

kaya ko nang iharap sa madlang people ang baby ko

 kitty-cat daw sya..

PANGARAP

pagtanda ko gusto ko, doctor ako, teacher o nurse..sabi ko sa papa ko nung grade 2 ako..

***


sana sa pagtanda ko'y natupad ko na lahat ng mga pangarap ko. kahit hindi na nga lahat, kahit kalahati man lang.

***

pangarap kong lumuwas ng bansa,
pangarap kong kumita ng malaking pera,
pangarap kong matulungan ang aking pamilya.

***

gusto kong magtrabaho sa hospital at sa mga day-offs ko,magsaside-line ako sa isang nsg. care home,
pag nakapag ipon na ako, after 10-15 years, uuwi ako sa pinas,

****

bibili ako ng sasakyan, sports car, yung red,
bibili ako ng lupa, patatayuan ko ng bahay,
bibili ako ng condo,
bibili ako ng resthouse, yung may pool or sa beach area,
bibili ako ng bagong cellphone yung bagong labas, yung mahal
bibili ako ng isang ref ng chocolate,
bibili ako ng lahat ng gusto ko

***

magnenegosyo ako..
gusto ko piggery...para super taba din ng bulsa ko.
gusto ko din mag franchise ng mga foodchains or restaurant,

***

by that time, sana may anak na ako,
sana pogi din tulad ko.haha
sana masunurin, di gaya ko...

***


sana, gusto, pangarap ko,

ikaw parin ang kasama ko,
dahil sa lahat ng pangarap ko,
ikaw ang iniisip ko,
ikaw din ang isa sa mga dahilan kung bakit ako nangangarap,
dahil kasama ka sa bawat pangarap ko.

pagtanda ko, gusto ko, ikaw ang kasama ko.
mahal ko,sana matupad ito..:)


sayo ko hinahandog ang kantang to...dahil pagtanda ko,pag matanda na ako, pagmatanda na tayo, ito yung theme song ko.

MAGPAKAILANMAN by rocksteddy

Darating din ang araw
Na tayo'y tatanda
Babagal ang mga paa
At manlalabo ang mata
Hindi mamalayan ang pagikot ng mundo

Darating din ang panahon
Na malalagas ang buhok
Balat ay kukulubot
At makukuba ang likod
Hindi malilimutan ang pagibig ko sayo magpakailanman

Panahon ay lilipas din
Mga araw ay daraan
Ang mundo ay papanaw din ngunit hindi ang aking puso
Ngunit hindi ang pagibig ko sayo

Darating din ang bukas
Na tayo'y kukupas
Ang buhay ay magwawakas
Kasama ang gunita
Ngunit hindi malilimutan ang pagibig ko sayo magpakailanman

Panahon ay lilipas din
Mga araw ay daraan
Ang mundo ay papanaw din ngunit hindi ang aking puso
Ngunit hindi ang pagibig ko sayo

Habang buhay kitang mamahalin
Habang buhay kitang hihintayin
Habang buhay kitang mamahalin magpakailanman

Panahon ay lilipas din
Mga araw ay daraan
Ang mundo ay papanaw din ngunit hindi ang aking puso

Panahon ay lilipas din
Mga araw ay daraan
Ang mundo ay papanaw din ngunit hindi ang aking puso
Ngunit hindi ang pag-ibig ko sayo
Sayo Sayo Sayo Sayo Sayo Sayo Sayo

FIRST TIME

nung first time kong magka cellphone nung grade 4 ako, tumatawag ako sa landline namin at pag sasagutin na ng maid yung telepono, kina-cancel ko na yung call at tatawa ako ng pagka lakas-lakas..haha..

****

nung first time kong kumanta sa harap ng maraming tao, nag out of tune ako, pinagtatawanan nila ako..haiz. kahiya yun.

***

nung first time kong naging aware sa fashion, once a week ako nagshashop, at di na inuulit yung damit, opo, mapang-mata yung mga classmates ko..

****

nung first time kong sa highschool ko, akala nila lalake ako. kaya super insist ako sa kanila na di kami talo. haha

****

nung first time kong magka pet na aso, shempre super alaga sha, pagkaraan ng isang buwan, nawalan na ako ng gana, ayun namatay sa init ng araw...

****

nung first time kong mag bj, nabulunan ako.. sa sinehan yun...opo, wala akong alam kaya panget yung first time ko..ang cheap, sa sinehan pa.. first time ko din yun ma blowjob..

 ****

nung first time kong ma bottom, masakit, pota kase eh, parang lata sa taba, ayun umuwi akong di makalakad ng maayos, pag check ko ng briefs ko, surprise!!!may dugoooo...

***

nung first time kong mag top.. ayun, ang sarap, ang dulas...:))) di ko yun makakalimutan...

***

nung first time kong umibig, binalewala ko lang, pero shet huli na ng naisip kong mahal ko pala yun kaya ayun, nung nagseryoso ako, pinagtulakan niya ako, pinaasa, at shet, naging martyr ako... iiyak lang ako, tapos okay na..mahal ko na ulet...

***

nunbg first time kong makapasok sa isang bar, nalasing ako, natapilok, di ko na maopen yung mata ko, at opo, natake home ako... pag gising ko, WHO ARE YOU, WHERE AM I  ang drama ko... 

***

sabi ko sa ex ko, pokpok ako kaya wag seryosohin, sabi niya, ''OKAY LANG, MAGKANO KA, BIBILHIN KITA PERO DI GAGALAWIN'' ayun, kinilig ako..first time na may nagpahiwatig ng respeto sakin... ang ending? SINUNOD NIYA YUNG PAYO KO, DI NYA TALAGA AKO SINERYOSO...

***

sa buhay nating eto may mga nangyayari na masakit at parang ayaw na nating tumayo from a fall...pero na realize kong eto yung mga bagay na nagpatatag pa sa atin...kung di nangyari ang mga ito, di rin nangyayari ang mga ikinasasaya natin ngayon...

tulad ni von...

(parang sha lang yung tinamaan nung light, ganun xa ka special)

sa puso ko..

kung may time machine, mabubulok lang kasi di ko gagamitin dahil pag ginamit ko, marahil ay di ko na sha makikilala ulit...

ang taong mahal na mahal ako, at mahal na mahal ko...

habangbuhay..

salamat

                   kamay ng camel niyang friend..haha

dear von,

salamat sa pagmahal sakin sa mga oras na alam kong hindi ako karapat-dapat sa pagmamahal mo

salamat sa pagtatanggol mo sa relasyon natin mula sa ex mo at lalung-lalo na sa pamilya mo

salamat sa walang hanggang pagpapatawad mo sa akin kahit na iniiyakan mo ito magdamag

salamat sa pagsasabing pogi ako kahit na alam kong cute lang ako.haha

salamat sa pagluluto mo sakin ng pancit canton kahit na hatinggabi na dahil lang sa gutom ako

salamat sa pagpapautang mo sakin sa mga panahong naubusan ako

salamat sa araw-araw mong pagpapaload sakin noong SUN pa ang gamit naten

slamat sa pag hatid-sundo mo sakin sa terminal tuwing pumupunta ako jan kahit na ito'y napakalayo mula sa bahay nyo

salamat sa pagiging mabuti mo sa mga kaibigan ko kahit na malayong-malayo yung ugali nila sa barkada mo

salamat sa pagiging napaka-mabait mong tao

salamat sa pagmamasahe mo sakin twing gabi kahit puyat ka rin

salamat sa ating mga sexy time

salamat sa pagsama mo saking bumili ng siomai kahit ala-una na ng umaga

salamat sa mga yakap mo twing tayo'y tulog

salamat sa paghalik mo sakin kahit bagong-gising tayo.haha

salamat sa pag pi-PDA natin...(--,)

salamat sa pagbubunny-ears mo pag ako'y nalulungkot

salamat sa pagiging childish mo, ako'y napapangiti...ang cute2 mo..

salamat dahil kahit napakalaki ng katawan mo, bonjing ka parin..haha

salamat sa pagmamahal...ilang libong beses mo nang narinig ito mula sakin..I LOVE YOU



isang taon na naman ang madaragdag sa edad mo...

kahit 20 ka na, sana baby parin kita...habang buhay....

at sana sa pagsapit ng 100th birthdays natin, tayo parin...


SALAMAT SA MAMA AT PAPA MO..


i love you baby koh...maligayang kaarawan...

sa tanong mo kung bakit kita mahal?eto ang sagot....

I LOVE YOU BECAUSE...YOU ARE YOU....:))

                                                                                                                                           love love,
                                                          topeh

coke and barquillos

he's one smart ass and i'm not,
he loves aguillera, i love mariah
he plays online and psp games, i don't
he's squeaky clean, and i'm lazy

he's light skinned, i'm light brown
he's got a nice flat tummy, i'm bloated
he's into pink, i'm into blue
he's cool, i'm too emotional

i'm into cute babies, he's into mature guys
i snore, he doesn't
i'm into vanilla scents, he's into floral musks
i laugh at vice ganda, he finds him corny

despite so much differences,despite loads of arguments, we still kept our relationship stronger. differences are unavoidable, and more often than not, we have just to let it be. coz we could actually learn from it. we could actually see things from both ways, from both sides. it's like trying other things out and not sticking to the basic routine. it's a way of trying to find out what he likes, what he wants, what he does and trying it also and realize that there's a big possibility that we might actually love it too.

it's like as if you're the coke and he's the barquillos.
doesn't look like a good match, but if dipped together, tastes actually good. yumyum. haha. try it. i just did. :))

to my sweet baby vonnie, happy happy happy 16th month...i know that sometimes we're like cats and dogs when we fight, but w/o you, my barquillos will never be as tasteful as this...LOL..i love you so much...:))